Staying Un-Dead #2: Bug-Out Pack

Yo, Zombie Killers! Before we get into this thingamabob I want to get a little serious. So take a knee and lend me your ear for a moment.

It should be really obvious that in this day and age survival gear is mostly a rich man’s toy, and a poor man’s woe. After tales of hurricane Katrina nobody can really deny that “survival” is biased against the poor. Yes, there is a whole pile of really cheap gear out there that people can buy, but once you get it out and try to use it, well, more often than not it is going to be more harmful to you than helpful. A great example is knives. When you are out in the rain chopping with that $15 BudK special to make some shelter for your kids, and the blade snaps off at the handle you will know exactly what I mean.

The really important thing to remember is that hidden in all that cheap crap are some worthwhile, last forever, decent products that can make a difference. One of the really important goals in my articles is to find that gear and pass on what it is and where to get it. And in doing this, maybe give some people some peace of mind. Economically challenged people DON’T have to just lie down and take it if they don’t want to. Start a “Fight Back” jar and stick $5 or $10 in it a month, all that loose change you were going to use for a pack of cigarettes.

Now, let’s prep for some zombie butt kicking with this week’s:

The Bug-Out Pack

The Bug Out PackIf you read my first article on the Bug-Out Belt you might have heard me talk about water, its importance to you living to see a cure, and how the belt can’t carry any. While I really hate to repeat myself, “You need water, or you are going to die!! Aaaaaggghh!””  While in super extreme survival situations, like your car breaks down in the desert, you can stay alive on just a few swallows of water. But only for about a week or so. Most experts I can find say for “long term, active survival (you are not just going to lay under a tarp as the zombie apocalypse passes by) 2 liters a day of drinking water.

So, our next experiment in “don’t loose or die” revolves around a hydration pack. Yes, I know, these are expensive little bass turds BUT you can get them “new with tags” on eBay for under US-$20. In fact I got mine for $10 + $8 s/h. One trick is to start shopping in late fall or early winter when people have lost interest in running and hiking.

It is important to remember that we are making an absolute base layer here that you never take off unless you know for sure the zombies are headed the other way, or you are in a secure bunker, armed guards, whatever. This is your absolute have-or-die gear. On top of this you will have a go-bag with clothing, and other important but less critical items.

Because you will have a go-bag to supplement this bug-out pack you want to keep it simple as possible. I know, I know, pockets are kewl, and you can add more stuff… NO! No! No,,, That is what the go-bag is for. I chose the Camelbak Thermopack for 2 reasons: There are no pockets to tempt you into overloading yourself, and it is decently insulated so that the water bladder shouldn’t draw much heat from your body. The Thermopack comes in 2 liter and 3 liter versions, and I went with the 2 liter version for a few reasons.

One of which was that I was going to take the water bladder out and put it in my bug-out vest. That was a bad choice though as the bladder is too long and narrow to work in the vest. However, this narrow system is a really good thing as the pack fits very nicely between your shoulders. So, if your go-bag is a backpack you can actually wear it very comfortably on top of the hydration pack.

Do you see what I am doing here? I am splitting things up and making things versatile. If I am running from zombies and need to lose 20 pounds I can drop my go-bag and still have critical supplies on my bug-out pack. If I need to climb a tree to get a better view, I drop my go-bag at the base but I wear my bug-out pack up into the tree… absolutely critical gear is always near. It is light weight and hampers motion as little as possible.

What Is In It?

What is in it?You may have noticed right off that I don’t have my machete attached to this. No, none of the straps are rigid enough nor in the right place to deal with a heavy tool. Someone in your crew will have to hang one on a belt. In spite of that, the bug-out pack is a better system than the belt. The obvious reason is the water bladder with which survival greatly improves.

One advantage to the bladder is now you are working with a large enough amount that water purification tablets are practical. Crushing them up for one cup at a time is crazy making but dropping one or a half of one into a bladder is simple.

Now as said, I bought mine off eBay so the first thing I did was fill it up and let it hang for a couple days. Doing this will reveal the smallest leak. By the second day the bottom of my pack was a bit damp and I was kind frustrated. The hose connection at the bag was leaking. Before I ran to my laptop and left some blazingly insulting email to the seller I did go search the internet to see if there was a simple solution as I am a fixer-upper type. To my surprise people on forums everywhere talk about their packs leaking here or there and don’t seem to care much. Apparently rich people don’t worry about products that habitually leak. So, the general consensus is that bladders are disposable and if you just stick a one gallon ziplock bag around the bottom of the bladder that should keep you dry enough. I’ve not had time to go to the hardware store but I am betting that there are several solutions for a dollar or two. I will be back with an inexpensive fix to drippy packs.

The two black pouches I have connected I actually found at the Goodwill store, and they are just digital camera cases. One cost me $4 and the other cost me $3. That olive drab pouch cost me $9 at a military surplus (yea, right) store, but is worth the money. It is actually a pistol clip pouch that holds two clips, but I stuck in a folding knife and sharpener instead. Why this pouch cost more is that it is a MOLLE pouch. Since my next article is about a MOLLE vest I think I’ll save the big explanation about what that is for that article, if you don’t know already.

In the picture above you can see that one pouch holds my small med kit and some awesome folding scissors I found on eBay. They are actually post World War II antiques made in West Germany and I managed to score them for $6 including shipping. At $6 they are a steal and I actually use them all the time, but beware, some eBayers are asking $20 or more for them and no, they are not worth that. Notice I added a $2 water proof box I found in the camping isle at Fred Meyer to keep it all dry which fits nicely in the pouch with a pair of med gloves. If I need to stitch up some stranger I’m not risking bad blood.

In the other pouchIn the other pouch I have a few things, including a flashlight branded by Columbia. I found the thing on eBay with a bid of 99 cents. Shipping was $4.99 so $6 for the whole thing, what the hell I think, I’ll get it and review it for people, as I cannot find a damn thing about it on the internet. It’s not a bad little light really. I know the flashlight gurus on the net would rip it apart, but most people can’t afford $90 flashlights let alone have them sit in an emergency kit doing nothing. It has 9 leds and runs on 3 aaa batteries. It is slightly brighter than my Fenix E1 at the hotspot, but it casts the light really wide. There is no adjustment to the beam, and unfortunately the base is not flat enough for it to stand up easily. But, I am betting that the batteries last a while, and it would make a good lamp to read by in the tent or get you to the outhouse. $6? Eh, I can do that, but do not pay more than that for it. Some people are trying to get $15 for them, and if you are going to spend that much then there are definitely better flashlights out there.

The other thing you see is the CRKT Guppie. CRKT stands for Columbia River Knife & Tool and Guppie stands for “do not buy this!” When I first got it I admit that I was all giggly over it, but that lasted about 5 minutes. There are several problems with it, from the ridiculously weak magnet to hold a bit in the hex driver, the bit holder that is painfully difficult to get bits out of, the pointless flashlight built into the bit holder, and so on. Now to be fair I will admit that I abhor multitools. I can seldom think of a time I have used one that I didn’t cuss and plead with the Gods to let me use real tools, so maybe I am a bit biased. Except for one crucial point, the knife. This is a folding knife with absolutely no lock on the blade. If there is a tension lock I cannot feel it, and that is down right criminal. If you have used knives much you know that no matter how professional you are, shit happens. You sneeze, someone bumps you, some random hand jerk, just… shit happens. Now when that shit happens while working with a folding knife without a blade lock, what does that knife want to do? Fold up. Where are your fingers? Between the blade and where it wants to go. And in the end hopefully one of your fingers are not on the ground! Maybe I just found one that slipped through inspection, but I’d avoid this thing if I were you.

The thing about multitools is that there are always things to tighten, cut, screw, adjust, and so on in the rest of your gear and so on. So, If anyone has the perfect, light weight, and truly z-pocalypse useful, please feel free to let me know about it, or point to a review you know of.

In the Molle Clip PouchOK, down in the MOLLE clip pouch I have a CRKT “Yea-go” folding knife. According to the CRKT website Yea-Go is a Navajo phrase meaning “all your might”. This is an “assisted open” knife, so you might want to know the laws in your state about that. Where I live, Oregon, for a long time knives with springs or other assists, like switch blades, were totally illegal. When this changed I have no clue. Anyway, the Yea-go is not a true switch blade by any means.

The assist took me a few tries to get used to before I could get a convincingly smooth opening motion. There is a small thumb pad on the blade that you press down and forward. If you press too straight down or too forward the blade won’t open, which is actually nice as it prevents most “accidental” openings. I like the minimal handle, and one unique feature is the belt clip which you can easily switch sides for left-handers. While I prefer a straight edge, it is good to have one knife with some serration on it. Straight edges are just so much easier to keep sharp and trouble free. I do have to admit that I have not done a serious bush test with this knife, but know that it is more of a kitchen knife than a heavy chopper. It will kill a zombie if you need it to though. In closing, this knife has been discontinued by CRKT, which has it on their site for $80 but because of the “discontinued” status I got mine for $49 at a local store. Keep your eye out on eBay and such as it is a candidate to hit the $20 mark eventually. And, because of this knife I can recommend CRKT as a good “general knife”. I never recommend buying “direct from manufacturer” as someone out there has a great deal, but: http://www.crkt.com/

Water to Run On

If you had to choose between the bug-out belt and the pack, then the pack is the best option because it has the water you need. Some of you might have realized already that if you can do both then you would have one serious rig. It would not be too hard to sew some extra straps that connect the pack to the belt and make it all one unit. Mostly it is about what you can afford, and how much of an edge you want to give you and your crew.

One of the nice things about this pack setup is that the pouches on the front help balance the load more on your hips, allowing you to go farther with less pain in the back later. The belt does this nicely as well, but has one little drawback that I didn’t mention. If you need to go to the bathroom, those pouches like to pull your belt out and fall on the ground, which could lead to a stinky situation.

One major selling point for building your bug-out around a hydro pack is that they come in several sizes. You can set up a smaller 1.5 liter for your 10-year-old daughter, a 2 liter for your 15 year-old son and a 3 liter for yourself. Everyone can carry something and not tire themselves out too much, which will help you all stay un-dead. So, happy zombie hunting!

On a budget? Buy it a piece at a time in this order:

Month 1: hydropack

Month 2: med kit

Month 3: a good knife

Month 4: a small pouch & a $2 survival blanket

Month 5: anything else you want to add…

Staying Un-Dead #1: Bug-Out Belt

Ok, so here is the situation. The apocalypse has come, and for us that means zombies are running around trying to eat aunt Ruth and uncle Ed. Things are dicey and we need to get ourselves out of the hot zone like 20 minutes ago. Now, I know you all are zombie knowledgeable and have a “Go-Bag” all ready to rock while you roll your butt off the menu.

One thing that many people forget though is that there is a more basic level than the go-bag that people want to think very hard about. Sure, your go-bag has all your important supplies like medications and flashlights, and semi important supplies like a change of underwear and your favorite photos of aunt Ruth. What is doesn’t have is the portability and the stick-to-you-ness that you want in a do-or-die situation like the z-pocalypse. And that is what my 3 main articles are about in this series.

We are going to look at gear that basically if you don’t have, or if you lose, well, you might as well wrap yourself in a tortilla and wiggle over to the nearest walker, ‘cause you are done !! Do not get me wrong, you want and need a go-bag. But the chances are real good that you will have to set it down to do something and magically a herd of deadites will appear and you will have to abandon the bag (hopefully just for a short time). Then what??

The Bug-Out Belt

The Bug Out BeltThe ultimate in ‘last ditch survival’ is putting totally critical items in belt pouches and keeping it all strapped around your waist. Your 12 year old daughter can wear one, and your 300lb uncle Ed can wear one. Aunt Ruth could have worn one but, well, she fed some zombies instead. Belts are super fast to put on if you have to get out in a big hurry. They are as light as can be, and you don’t have to wear out your tired arms carrying them.

The one thing a belt cannot deal with is water. I am going to chew on this like I have the rage virus – A belt sucks for dealing with water. The best you can do is pack a collapsible cup and some water purification tablets. The tablets are great except they are meant to purify larger quantities than a cup.

One other thing I will repeat, this gear is never, ever taken off unless you are 150% sure that you are secure. If you are alone this might be difficult, but you might find a good fortified room or such where you can strip down to clean up, etc. But, this gear goes right back on! Not only your life, but your family’s lives depend on this stuff.

To repeat, yes, you want to have some cloths to change into, and maybe something to cook in – and that is in your go-bag. But, let’s be honest, when you need to drop 20 lbs because the zombies are catching up, what is going to be ditched? The clothes. And why not? You will be able scavenge some here and there as the undead are not really big on fashion, or clothes. Trust me, what will disappear from stores will be food and water, but clothes, ha! And don’t forget that where you want to scavenge is NOT Macy’s. Try REI or Dicks Sporting Goods when you need clean pants.

Belt Inventory – Primary Tool

Survival Belt InventorySo, what is super critical that you HAVE to have… besides water, of course?

Your primary tool/weapon. What I have shown here is the Hibben IV Machete. I’ll do a full review in another article but here are its basic stats: Cutting edge = 10 ½ inches (26.7cm), Overall length = @17 inches (43cm), and a very important and solid ¼” (0.64cm) thick. In other words this thing is a hefty slab of metal. It is full tang – which means that it is one slab of metal from its pointy bit through the handle to the round knob. This is very important for it to be excellent at its job. (note: I had to measure mine because every website had different dimensions.) If you were to stick it horizontally into a large tree you could use it as a step.

Why I chose this is because of its versatility. You can chop wood with it like a hatchet, clear brush, chop open cans of food when you lose the can opener, kill zombies, pound things, and so on. And almost as important – because it is a machete it is classified as a “tool” and not a weapon. For most people this is not an issue, especially as you won’t be wearing it when you go to the mall. But for many people not in the U.S.A. (and some people that are) the distinction between weapon and tool might be important.

If you are interested now, here are the two least expensive places I know to order this tool. Please note that there are two major types of this machete, ones with cross guards and ones without. I’ll detail this out in the review, but know that the cheapest you will get the cross guard version for is about US-$85 + s/h.

Anyway, BudK has the Hibben IV Machete for US-$39.98. Their minimum s/h is $9.95 so you might want to find something to add to your order, as the s/h gets more reasonable the more you buy, of course. You can find it here = http://budk.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=156977

Wild Bill Wholesale also has the Hibben IV for a reasonable price of US-$44.40. While this is a little more expensive than BudK – I bought mine here. The reason is that you can get pistol crossbow bolts at Wild Bill for $3.99 a pack and BudK sells them for $19.99 a pack. Also, replacement strings are only $2.99 each. So it is real easy to offset the higher price for the machete. Wild Bill’s s/h charges are about the same as BudK. Check out the Hibben IV here (the pic is incorrect – that was a special run) = http://www.wildbillwholesale.com/hibben4machete.html

You might opt for something else as your primary tool. I highly recommend though that you either stick with a hatchet or machete. Your favorite brand of course. This is primarily because you want something that does as many different things as it can. Knives are a really tricky and long discussion, which we will have soon. Trust me though, you want 3 or 4 knives if you can = each for different things.

First Aid

T-Dog Cut ArmFixing yourself up after a rough ride is almost as critical as water. Did I mention that if you lay totally still you might make it 6 or 7 days without water. But, running out of the city screaming is going to dry you out like a raisin in 2 or 3 days according to medical people. You are pretty sure to have important body parts shutting down in 3 to 5 days. And this doesn’t take into account hot weather and such. Water – better live with it, ‘cause you can’t without it.

The other things you need to take care of you and yours? Well, I am going to talk to someone at the Red Cross and get a good list of things that you really need. The most important thing is a way to deal with bad cuts and broken bones. Only waste space for little Band-Aids if you or someone in your crew is prone to getting infections. My brother got them very easily but I never have.

Skin ShieldAn alternative to bandaids and one I swear by is skin glue. Warning, this stuff has antiseptic in it which means it will sting. But that is a good thing, ya wuss! Likewise, large cuts like T-Dog’s arm… probably not a good application. But, a bottle of this in the kit is worth the $6.

For now, get yourself a basic kit. Remember to split it up between packs if you are with a group. And once I get the low-down from the Red Cross I will pass it on.

Other Items

What else? How about one of those shiny emergency blankets you can get for $2 and a pocket knife or small multi-tool? And you will want to add some sort of real knife. I have just discovered that an outfit called Mora makes inexpensive knives that many big name survival people carry. I’ll let you know more about these in my knife article.

Wrap-up and Go!

Now that you see the basic idea, and some items that you should have on your belt you can make adjustments and maybe add something else I didn’t mention. One example would be a whistle or other emergency signal device. Yeah, we are having fun writing about the z-pocalypse, and I am sure a whistle would be bad news then, but in an earthquake or hurricane situation you might want one.

In closing, the more prepared you are for an emergency the less likely you are to end up a manwich. Even if you get caught away from your gear, subconsciously you will be way better off  because you know what you need, you know at least one place to get it, and you have at least a half-assed plan in mind. This alone will boost your chances of surviving. And that is the name of the game.

New Kid on the (Cell) Block

Death is everywhere. Lurking around every corner, through every door, and down every stairwell, it is seen, heard, felt, smelled, and even tasted—it is inside everyone. The Grimes Gang has been put through the wringer (to put it ever so delicately), and somehow they’re always kicked when they’re already down. But, as they run through the tunnel of murky darkness of uncertainty and despair, and decay of a life that once was and hopelessness of ever returning to it, a glimmer of light, born through death itself, is there to greet them—a baby—a baby? A baby! The baby.

Walking Dead Baby Grimes

I’m going to take a leap of faith here and refer to the li’l whipper snapper as Baby Grimes, because, well, as Lori told Shane in season 2′s “Pretty Much Dead Already,” “Even if it’s yours it’s not going to be yours.” So, until DNA is submitted to Maury Povich for testing and the baby is scientifically proven to be a Grimes or a Walsh, Rick, you are the father.

Baby-daddy conflict aside, this child certainly has the cards stacked against her. She was conceived during an outbreak of an unknown infectious disease that turns dead human beings into fiends whose only mission is to eat you, aka the zombie apocalypse. The Four Horsemen could have rode into town, but her parents clearly weren’t thinking about that. After nature took its course and Lori discovered she was with child,  she panicked and tried to terminate the pregnancy by popping and then spitting out a handful of morning-after pills. By that time, Baby Grimes was already locked and loaded, and was impervious to the effects of such drugs. Over the next several months, the unborn baby’s host was subjected to daily emotional and physical stress, and possible (more like probable) malnutrition, which, in a normal, walker-free environment, would be grounds for miscarriage. Combined with a lack of prenatal medical care—sorry, Hershel, your offscreen examinations just didn’t cut the mustard; Carol’s postmortem version of the game Operation was entertaining, but, alas—this kid’s chances of survival weren’t looking so good. But, Baby Grimes somehow managed to endure—to survive—just like her parents, her brother, and the family she was about to be born into.

In near darkness, on the floor of a boiler room in a prison, with death shuffling past the unlocked door, sparing those behind it, Baby Grimes was born shortly after her mother drew her last breath. Lori’s hope for her children, and the strength and fearlessness she showed as she lay dying were passed on to her daughter. A symbol of love, hope, purity, forgiveness, and strength, Baby Grimes represents everything the group needs so they don’t lose sight of what it means to be human—living, civilized, good people. Although she is also the group’s greatest obstacle, she is meant to be.

Emerging from death, surrounded by death, the baby not only survived her environment, but appears to have thrived in it. The cherub-like infant seems to be healthy, and after crying for only what seemed like a moment, she was quiet as the walkers passed by—it’s almost like she knew to make herself invisible. Sadly, she was also invisible to the one person who should have embraced her—Rick. He was naturally and understandably overcome by the grief of losing Lori, but he didn’t even acknowledge his new daughter. He had some other matters to attend to. Mr. Grimes, you have a telephone call at the front desk.

Like Lori, Rick probably had a different vision for the birth of this child. He and the group had been through so much and worked so hard to move into and to secure the prison so Lori could have as comfortable—and safe—of a delivery as possible. Since the day he met the group on the rooftop in Atlanta, he took responsibility for their safety, often putting himself and his own family at risk. Although their relationship was extremely strained, the prison was Rick’s chance to prove to Lori that he had his family’s best interest in mind—and to escape the ghost of Shane by starting fresh with a clean slate. The baby was going to help them repair their marriage. However, Rick’s decision to let Andrew test his luck with the walkers ultimately led to the group’s safety being compromised, including T-Dog’s death and Carol’s disappearance—but was it really to blame for Lori’s death? Rick seemed to think so. Lori could have hemorrhaged to death while sitting on a lawn chair, drinking a glass of lemonade, watching Carl throw rocks at the walkers on the fence, and the outcome could have been the same. Regardless, Lori is dead, along with Rick’s hope for a fresh start and a chance of returning to normalcy. From that perspective, how could he possibly deal with a newborn, much less come to terms with the fact that she even exists?

Rick Grimes holding his baby daughterDeny it. Immerse yourself in guilt, and have telephone conversations with dead people. Check on your son and the rest of the group, but completely ignore your daughter…until you speak with your dead wife on the phone and realize that you need to get off the phone, deal with your issues instead of running from them, and hold your daughter for the first time. Perhaps Rick needs this baby as much as she needs him. He might secretly question whether she is biologically his, but one thing he knows is that beyond a shadow of a doubt, Lori was her mother—and part of her will live through their daughter. Now that Rick can accept Lori’s death and has closure, can he now see the light at the end of the tunnel? Is his hope restored? Can this kid finally be named?!

Naturally, raising a child in this environment will be challenging. Hell, raising a child in a pre-apocalyptic environment can be difficult. It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child—this couldn’t be any truer for Baby Grimes. So many challenges already face the group—how will they deal with the added stress of raising and protecting a baby? During Rick’s literal parental leave, the group embraced the baby, and without reluctance, complaint, or even a sigh, Daryl and Maggie immediately left to search for formula. The group has been as selfless in caring for the baby as Rick has been in leading them.

Daryl Dixon with BabyAlthough the baby has found her way into the hearts of the Grimes Gang, it appears that Daryl in particular has a real soft spot for her. Upon returning from the daycare center, Daryl, of all people, held the baby and soothed her as her first bottle was prepared. He was the first to feed her. He was the first to discuss naming her. He was the first to really bond with her. It’s clear that he truly cares for this baby. Is she the new hope for Daryl? Is she his second chance? Is she another child for him to protect? Is she the one he won’t fail? Will she give him a chance to forgive himself? When will he take the baby on her first squirrel hunt? I hear he’s working on a papoose.

What kind of life will Baby Grimes have? This new world that the survivors hope is temporary could be the only world she ever knows. If she lives to see at least her 5th birthday, will she have grown to be a soulless, cold, killing machine? Will she ever have a chance to be a kid? Will she ever have the chance to experience the life her brother did? Will she ever have the chance to be happy?

Rick Grimes kissing his babyThe Grimes Gang is determined to return to a life that is as close to normal as possible. Most people wouldn’t be too pleased with the term “life in prison” describing their lives, but since fleeing Hershel’s farm, and being on the run for several months, the prospect of the safety and security of a prison sounds pretty damn good. Every new home can use a good cleaning, and the prison is no different—once the walkers are eliminated, the group can begin its renaissance…with the sound of a baby’s laughter echoing throughout. Normal. Happy. Safe. Death may be everywhere, but so is life—and it always goes on.

Even with the Governor just around the corner.

Will Baby Grimes survive this season?

Staying Un-Dead: The Rationale

Preparing for disasters is lame. It is time consuming, ridiculously money consuming, and depressing. Why do it when there are more fun things to do? Why bet on something super bad MAYBE happening when there is daily life to deal with here and now?

Because.

Because you cannot do anything without your own life. Because your family members are usually who you do those things for right now. So, if they don’t survive then what? No, I am NOT a doomsday-er. In fact I am pretty skeptical as I live in the northwest US. No hurricanes, no earthquakes, no tornados. All we get here is some snow storms and some forest fires. You can’t believe how hard it is for people to take disaster preparedness seriously. Ok, ok, once every bazillion years the coast might get hit with a tsunami. Maybe.

But, when you sit back and think a little, then you start to wonder.  First, it is way overdue. That we here have lived so well is astonishing really. Second, if you spread the cost out over time you can get mega prep done and hardly notice what you are spending. A good knife for the average person might cost $50. You spend more than that for coffee each month, so why not put $15 a month into an emergency prep fund or project? Boring & depressing? Yes, but you can make a lot of survival stuff pull double duty. And you can make the whole thing a game.

I have decided that I really need to do something. I am sitting around too much, gaining weight and growing rigid. I need some exercise for just daily life – forget being healthy enough to survive a major event. And then there is the constant “we are due for an earthquake/pandemic/flood” in the evening news. But, I have a hobby that revolves around the cable tv show, The Walking Dead. Hmmm, now here is opportunity. I can have fun making it a game of prepping for a zombie apocalypse. I can plan emergency routes out of my city when the zombies come, figure out what is the minimum of gear I need, where do I head. In short, how do I keep on keeping myself, my family, and my friends alive? Amazingly, if you prep for zombies then you are ready for anything else. Why not have fun with this?

So, I am going to document my adventures in getting ready for the coming zombie hordes, and share what I discover along the way. I have decided on some basic gear, and quality of that gear, that I think I could do ok with. The first of this gear I have internet shopped and it should start arriving this week. I’ll review what I get and demonstrate to my best on how to use it.

The important thing to remember here is that you don’t need to get all nuts on this, and you don’t need to spend a million dollars. All you and the people you care about need is an edge. You need to not get blind sided. So you buy a few things and they end up kicking around in the garage for 20 years, you should still do something like this so that it is in your head. That is where it is most important. People think, ‘Why have a prep kit? Odds are I wont even be home when something happens.” True, but you will have some piece of mind that you KNOW what to do, what your plans are.. and where is the first place you are going to head anyway? Home.

So, join my little journey as I go from couch potato with no gear to fighting chance. Maybe I’ll even earn an honorary “Zombie Slayer” badge.

Survival 101 (Part One): Keep Calm and Kill Zombies

As I mentioned in my first article for Talking Walking Dead, I write a fictional blog set in the zombie apocalypse. I am not an expert (or even a journeyman) in the science of survival, but I have picked up a few things over time. In the spirit of clean fun and good times, I’m going to do a series of articles that start right here about how to win the game against the Walkers.

You’d think the most important bit would be prep work; having a kit together that will allow you to make a go of living off the land, far away from anywhere large gatherings of zombies. You’re right, of course. If you don’t have the supplies you need, chances are good that parts of you are going to end up tasty snacks for a shambling corpse. But no matter how well prepared your kit is, it won’t do you a damn bit of good without the proper weapons. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, as The Walking Dead teaches us, you will have to fight your way through some groups of zombies.

Which means you need the proper…

WEAPONS:

Before you put your bug-out bag together and fill it with gear, it’s important to have the right tools to kill those annoying undead first and foremost. The perfect striker to start a fire won’t mean much if your neck gets ripped out because you thought that sword at the flea market looked like just the thing.

Let’s look at it logically: we all know the best way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Unless he’s a walking corpse. Then the best you can hope for is to take off his head or pierce the brain.

As a martial arts nerd, I’m the first person to imagine cutting my way through a swarm of Walkers using nothing but a trusty katana like a Samurai. The problem is, most Katana the average person sees are flimsy fakes that can’t be trusted to cut through anything harder than a watermelon without shattering. If you happen to own an iaito or some other high-quality differentially-tempered Japanese blade, you’re halfway there. The other part of the equation is enough training to use the thing correctly without slicing your own leg off or screwing up in some other way.

Swords might be a good idea for some people, but I’ve had some training with them and I still wouldn’t want to rely on that. To be effective—that is, to cut off a head or have enough power to pierce the brain—you almost have to use a two-handed weapon. Which means you’re out of luck if you need to open a door or anything.

Plus the training aspect, and you begin to see why swords aren’t a great idea. Most of us have never picked one up.

Hammers are another story. There are a huge variety of weapons that use the same motion as hammering a nail, which most of us have done. On recent episodes of The Walking Dead, we’ve seen characters carefully put steel and wood through the eyes of the undead. That’s a good idea if you can do it, as the bone at the back of the eye socket is thin.

But let’s look at worst-case scenarios instead. The skull is strong and thick, so it makes sense that we want weapons that can put the maximum force into the smallest area to give us a better shot at knocking a hole in it in one shot. A hammer isn’t a bad idea, but the head is flat and relatively large compared to how small we want it to be.

A pick or something similar, a sturdy tool with a small point on it that can stand up to the full-armed force of a head shot, is what we want. Nothing needle-slim or it might break, but a smoothly tapered point on a solid weapon that won’t bend or break is about as good as it gets. Hatchets will work very well, as they’re designed for exactly that. I’m not sure how effective T-Dog’s fireplace poker would actually be, but it’s the right idea.

My ideal weapon would be a hammer whose head was filed to a dull point or whose claw was straightened out. A good framing hammer is a solid piece of steel that can stand up to a lot of punishment and in a pinch can actually be used for its intended purpose as well. Look around your house as you begin to plan for the worst, and try to see what you could use to break a head open if you had to.

Just don’t make a point of mentioning that to party guests or anything. Find your weapons and keep it to yourself. People won’t call you crazy if you’re quiet about it. Once you have your defense planned out, you can move on to the survival kit itself.

Next week, that’s just what we’ll do.

Season Three: The Long View

As we eagerly wait out the hours left until the premiere of season three of The Walking Dead, I’m sure many of us are watching the season two marathon and wondering what we would do if confronted with the perils and heart-wrenching choices Rick and his crew have to deal with.

It’s a natural reaction to fiction, that immediate critique of every move the characters make. It’s also a sign of good writing and an engaging story, because it shows how involved we become. The aspect of The Walking Dead I became interested in the most (back in the day when the comic was less than two years old) was the long-term survival options.

The concept was so fascinating to me that I started writing a fictional blog, Living With the Dead, set in the zombie apocalypse. The main difference in tone between my work and TWD was that I wanted to look at how everyday life would change for survivors. That’s why I took the idea of a serialized zombie story, inspired by Robert Kirkman’s original and brilliant idea, and broke it down even further. TWD is a monthly title, and mine is told in real time.

What really amazes me about the show is how the cast manages to convey a sense of time passing. The little touches are many and light, from showing people hand-washing clothes to surveying the wreckage of the second most likely place to be pillaged, a pharmacy, the first of course being a grocery store.

I’m constantly impressed by those small details. The show manages to tell two stories nested inside each other, superimposing the personal dramas of the cast over the larger background of the zombie apocalypse. It would be simple to focus on one or the other, but where TWD shines is using both story elements to drive and affect each other. It would also be easy to forgo many of those tiny details that give the show intense realism. But by addressing things like birth control, the lack of medical care, the scarcity of fuel and ammunition, and a hundred other miniscule pieces of set dressing that give the story depth, the showrunners create a believable narrative that remains enthralling despite a few flaws.

More than a few of us groaned our way through season two. Oh, I watched every episode with the dedicated fervor of a man deeply in the grip of a heroin addiction, don’t get me wrong. But most of us face-palmed over Carl not staying in the damn house, or Lori oscillating between conflicting opinions while being annoying enough to make our eyes twitch.

That’s okay, though. Season two had a few warts as any sophomore effort will, but overall it was great entertainment. More, it was a huge setup for what’s to come. By showcasing so many instances of supply shortages and the general lack of modern conveniences, the writers and producers created an expectation (mostly subconscious, I think, but then I write my blog most days and think about this kind of stuff more than is strictly healthy) that season three would be brutal and harsh in ways the previous seasons can’t even approach.

Look at the promotional material if you doubt me. Everyone looks rougher, the colors are muted. The world appears coated in a layer of grime and dust. Even the clothing of the cast has undergone some serious wear-and-tear. The images of Rick are the most stark and startling: gone is the determined but somehow optimistic man who acts as a reluctant leader. In his place stands a rugged survivor who has killed when the situation called for it, refuses to step aside or take orders, and will do anything—anything—to protect his loved ones and his group.

The key thing I’m taking away here is that the show won’t solely focus on any one aspect of survival. I think it’s safe to say that they will continue to use the apocalypse to explore what the disintegration of society does to people and groups, how the lack of modern life affects priorities and decisions, and how people dealing with all that treat each other. I’ve never been so excited to see a show premiere, and that’s because there are so many questions about how Rick, Daryl, Lori and the rest will manage to keep alive in the face of so much deprivation and danger that I just can’t look away. I don’t just want to know how it works out, I need to know.

I’ve loved watching these characters grow every time the world knocks them to the dirt. Given what we’ve seen about season three so far, it looks like they’ll be growing or dying pretty quick. Does it make us bad people to so eagerly await bad things happening to characters we love? Maybe. But that’s a risk I’ll take.

 

A Discussion of Morality

The Walking Dead Season 2 endJessie:
Imagine the world that comes after the apocalypse ends. Few really consider what this would be like, especially when dealing with zombies. Amy and I pose the question, thanks to a commenter from the article The Cure is Worse than the Disease quoted below: What would a community look like? And what would be the structure of it’s morality and ethics, considering the violent and traumatic kind of life lived while zombies walked?

Amy:
There would still be a lot of thorny moral and legal issues if the world managed to rebuild after zombies.  Would people be prosecuted for crimes committed during the apocalypse or not?  At what point does a crime become so heinous that it cannot be ignored or does the fact that laws were irrelevant mean crimes didn’t even exist and thus cannot be punished?

Northsongs:
Great analysis. And I am really interested in the question you pose about people being prosecuted for things they’ve done during the apocalypse. For example, Randall’s situation. If he was executed by the group, would (and should) that come back to haunt them post-recovery of civilization. He actually hasn’t been convicted of a crime (although we suspect he was firing at Rick and Glenn outside the bar in town.) interesting idea, Amy. After the breakdown of civilization, do the laws existing prior still have relevance after/during?

Jessie:
That’s a great question. But first I think we have to determine whether the same system of ethics and morality apply before we can decide if the laws and/or system of judgment do. The laws are based on our ethics as a group, and it’s plain to see that these ethics have been degrading with each episode — thus Dale’s frustration at the treatment of Randall. Personally, I think that our ethics and laws are worth upholding, though it would be necessary to change the specifics of the laws somewhat because of the circumstances. This also brings up the question of how to handle the different dynamics/decisions made between groups of survivors. One group may decide to act in a way that is civil according to our current standards, but another chooses to act in a completely immoral (according to our laws) manner. How does the “ethical” group defend itself? So many questions to keep asking from that point on!

Amy:
I don’t consider law to be predicated on morality, so in my mind, they are two separate issues.  For instance, some people consider abortion immoral, but it is legal.  Conversely, some people consider assisted suicide moral, but it is illegal.  Morality has no true right or wrong because it is different culture to culture and person to person.  Law, in theory, is concrete, though there are obviously innumerable ways of interpreting it.  Of course, the way I am thinking of morality is how it is perceived in popular culture, that is, what people think is “good” and what they think is “bad”.

That said, in an environment such as a zombie apocalypse, it does not seem possible to subscribe to the laws of old.  The three branches that deal with creating, executing, and enforcing them no longer exist.  If we accept that premise, then the two options are to create a new government or use a moral code to instruct behavior.  If the latter is chosen it creates a situation where every group of survivors would have a different way of tackling issues of morality.

Jessie:
You make a good point about the difference of laws and morality…I was trying to say more that our idea of ethics, the philosophical and hypothetical situations where we pose what would be the “lesser of two evils” kind of thought process seem to be what initially directed lawmaking. You and I have discussed the example where a person is standing at a lever that controls a train’s direction. If left to go one way, it will hit your best friend stuck on the tracks. If left to go another, five strangers will die when the train crashes due to broken tracks. Which is the “right”, or better, choice?

With that in mind, I wonder if that kind of reasoning is still applicable in a survival-mode kind of life. Is it possible for people to continue making decisions with that ethical structure when their most basic needs are at risk constantly?

18 Miles Out - Shane, Randall and RickAmy:
I suppose it depends on which choice in the train example you would consider to be the “correct” one.  If you subscribe to the idea that providing the greatest happiness to the greatest number of people is the moral standard, than you would have to save the five strangers.  However, we did see in the show how Shane most certainly did not fall into that way of thinking, as his actions were always based on saving himself, Lori, Carl, and later the baby.  On the other hand, we see Rick for the most part attempt to do what is best for the group at large.  Can we say whether one way is more correct than the other?  When it comes down to it, people want to survive and it is difficult to begrudge someone for doing what they can in such an outlandish situation as a zombie apocalypse.  We cannot help but judge their actions based on our own moral views from our world, but does that adequately translate to their reality?

Jessie:
Such a difficult question. Especially when you take into account the levels of trauma sustained by seeing most of your loved ones die violently and then return from the dead with a mindless desire to violently kill and consume you. We can’t possibly imagine the full ramifications that situation would have on an individual’s psyche, let alone how that would affect their moral decisions, especially as the situation changes. Unethical situations, like when Shane shot Otis to save himself as the more likely candidate to get back to the farm, as well as to save his own life, are typically rationalized. Put another way, people look for ways to defend themselves socially, so they find “reasons” for why they make the decisions they make. Rarely are these reasons based in true logic or ethical questioning. They are usually based on how they best serve the purpose of saving face with the group.

Shane Save The Last OneShane told the others that Otis handed him the bag and offered to cover his retreat, effectually sacrificing himself. When confronted on that blatant lie, he rationalized that he had indeed left Otis behind as a sacrifice, but it was for Carl’s sake. This is the lie he tells himself to get through the guilt of causing a decent person’s brutal death. Hershel rationalizes keeping Walkers in the barn as the “right” thing to do because it’s humane. He tells himself these people are sick, not walking corpses, because that’s what it takes for him to deal with the grief of losing his family. There are many more examples of this throughout the show, but the main point is that human nature instinctively causes us to create a reason that suits our desires or needs, especially under duress. I think, because of this tendency, we would see and have seen a gradual decline in the nature of lawfulness. But would that continue into the post-apocalypse community? I can’t see how it wouldn’t, at least to some degree. The human psyche is an amazing thing, but with the kind of emotional scars this world would deal, the ethical structure must inevitably be damaged. Perhaps better to say changed, because in a few generations there wouldn’t be any concept of what had been considered lawfulness.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see regression in the laws of the land. Capitol punishment would likely have a huge resurgence, because it would be the easiest way to keep order. Pair that with corporal punishment as a deterrent for theft, disloyalty or other offenses, and you’d have a strong motivation to keep from breaking laws. I would imagine that someone who has been through so much death and terror would be numb to the idea of killing for the sake of safety. But, I would say this situation could only arise if most higher concepts such as hope, beauty, and faith in humanity had been corrupted or lost completely.

Amy:
If I can back up a little, I like the point you bring up on social dynamics.  In a lot of ways the importance of other peoples’ opinions drops down to zero in the zombie apocalypse, as the more pressing concern of mere survival take precedence.  Things that we look down upon, such as poor hygiene and invading personal space, would no longer be reasons for scorn.  People would have no time to keep up all the little social niceties that used to be expected of them.  Conversely, in this new world being in the good graces of other people can mean the difference between life and death.  Had Shane admitted openly that he murdered Otis to survive there is a possibility that he could have ended up in the same sort of situation that Randall did.  Of course, his relationship with Rick would have almost certainly protected him from the death penalty, but that just illuminates what a difference positive relationships make in that world.  Many members of the group were willing to kill Randall merely because he was not one of them.

On that note, I have to disagree with you on what it would take for people to accept capitol and corporal punishment as the norm.  We see from Randall’s case how easily they slipped into that mode of thinking and it is not difficult to understand why.  It is the sort of group-think that allowed Hitler to gain so much power.  As long as the individual is promised protection, the base necessities to survive, and not tasked with doing the dirty work of actually maiming or murdering someone, they will be willing to close their eyes to a lot of things, and even justify brutalities they see firsthand.  Once someone has experienced the horror of the dead rising, managed to survive, and then somehow made it into a place with a semblance of normality, they will hold onto that slice of life with a death grip.

Jessie:
That’s a really interesting point, about the social dynamics. Do you think those norms would be completely changed in this new world order? I could see people going back to bathing more, since we know as much as we do about how disease spreads. I would imagine you’re right, there’d be a more hierarchical system where if you’re in good with the leader types, you’re more likely to stay alive. And with someone like Rick, as long as you’re straight with him about things that happen, there’s a level of leniency because of his former training as a law enforcement officer, and after the scare with Dale and wanting to prove that their group isn’t broken. It would certainly be interesting to see!

As for the Hitler’s Germany comparison, I can definitely see that. But do you think that’s still likely after what happened in Randall’s case? After Dale died like that? I suppose if there’s enough time between this one event and reconstruction it’s quite likely. People quickly forget lessons learned, even when attached to such intense situations.

Amy:
The answers to both of your questions depend on how long the world went on with zombies in it before reconstruction happened.  If enough time passed where everyone alive grew up only knowing a world where the dead walked, I would posit that social norms and expectations would be massively different.  I liken it to the current generation that does not know a world without instant access to the Internet anywhere, let alone a world without the Internet at all.  Language, social interactions and social mores are so different from even just twenty years ago.  Even if the time passed was less significant, I still think that whatever society emerged as a result would be forever based on the knowledge that a true horror like the walking dead was possible.  Things like regular bathing would go back to normal I’m sure, but others, such as the heightened need for security, would be ingrained so deeply as to be impossible to shake.

As for the issue of Dale’s death stopping the group from using capitol and corporal punishment, that may very well be the case, but only until the next crisis.  People tend to have knee-jerk reactions to a shocking event, whether for the better or the worse.  After September 11th, Americans pulled together in a way that I had never seen before, putting aside petty issues and differences.  It was truly awe-inspiring and comforting in such a trying time.  However, as I am sure you remember, it did not take long to return to the old ways of disparaging each other for one reason or another.  As humans we cannot seem to help turning things into “us versus them” and that is only compounded when every moment is fraught with danger.

Rick Grimes Black and WhiteMy question to you is what kind of effect will Shane’s death have on Rick’s style of leadership?  The manner in which Rick killed Shane was hardly straightforward self-defense and in the season finale he even admits to Lori that he wanted Shane dead at that point.  He also openly states that members of the group are free to leave, but if they stay it is no longer going to be a democracy.  Do you consider Rick’s actions to be ethical in these cases? Will this take the group in a new darker direction?

Best Friend or Barky Liability?

In a world ruled by walkers, survivors must surround themselves with those they trust and who can help keep them safe. Bad choices are often made, leading to betrayal or fatal mistakes. With my slightly skewed priorities, this makes me ask one question: Where are the dogs?

the walking dead dogsIn our reality, every time a major natural disaster occurs, there are people who refuse to evacuate because many shelters don’t accept pets. Others leave behind nearly everything else, but pack their vehicles to the dome lights with animals.

So far in The Walking Dead, we’ve seen virtually no dogs. I believe there were a few shown slinking around the streets of Atlanta, but the only ones I remember being the focus of anyone’s attention are the “little-fluffies” tucked in their doggie bed at the nursing home protected by the Vatos. Is this how it would be?

Many dogs would fail to survive the early days. Their owners might be unable to return home, and some would flee without their pets. If the dogs were unable to escape their houses, they would eventually perish. Some pets who were outdoors or able to find a way out would become prey to other animals. We’ve seen walkers eat horses, rats, woodchuck, and (sadly) at the beginning of season two, dogs. (Thanks Iain for finding that reference – and disturbing photo – for me!) So perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised not to see many dogs wandering about, but I would have expected to see more.

the walking dead guard dogs on patrolIn urban areas, where wild game doesn’t exist and food sources are dwindling, survivors would eventually begin to hunt dogs. I imagine they’d be relatively easy targets, given their ingrained inclination to trust humans. In fact, I wrote this element into my own apocalyptic novella. I hated it. You might not believe me, but I’ve given this way too much thought. I would honestly starve before I would kill and consume a dog. Still, I recognized it as a likely scenario in the story, so I included it.

Cats are another story. Feral cat colonies exist nearly everywhere, in both urban and rural areas, but they are way harder to catch than most people realize. Which makes me also wonder why we aren’t seeing more feral cats slinking around.

Felines aside, I’m a true-blue dog person, and I know you can never discount people’s devotion to their canine companions. Shouldn’t we see at least some dogs accompanying groups of survivors? I would certainly try to bring my dogs with me and keep them safe. Yes, I’d have to find a way to feed them, but it would be worth it.

Wouldn’t it?

On one hand (or paw, as the case may be), dogs could be a huge liability. In addition to feeding them, most dogs bark. In the case of my dogs, they bark a lot. We know walkers are attracted to sound. What would the primitive survival instinct sparking in their brain stems tell them about barking? It could be “Yay, sound! Let’s eat!” But in their human lives, walkers would have known the sound of a barking dog served as an alarm. This might continue in their primitive reptilian brains as “Uh-oh. That sound means our snack-packs know we’re coming, so we should shamble as fast as our decomposing joints will allow in the opposite direction.”

That being said, babies and small children make noise and are hard to control, too, yet everyone seems determined to haul them along through the countryside.

On the other hand, dogs could be a significant benefit. Sure, not a crazy, out-of-control yap-monster…but perhaps a more cooperative canine? Dogs are our companions, giving us comfort and acceptance when no one else does. But they also evolved to work by our side.

Dogs have senses which greatly exceed ours. Their eyes are sensitive to movement, their ears are far more acute than those of humans, and their noses are so much more advanced it’s hard to calculate. Many breeds, especially if trained, could be of enormous benefit in the quest for game.

The Walking Dead  DogsIn the area of security, their eyes would detect a rustle in the woods or the flicker of movement between buildings which would be invisible to their bipedal companions. This would be especially true at night, when people are nearly blind. Their (adorable, scratch-worthy) ears would pick up the distant shuffling of festering walker-feet while they were still far enough away to allow the luxury of escape. If the humans were attuned to their dogs and paying attention, this early alert system could save many lives.

And those wonderful doggie noses! I must assume walkers don’t smell all that great, what with the rotting and absolute absence of personal hygiene.

This brings me to a quick side note. Where does all the flesh the walkers eat end up? Does it just sit and rot in their stomachs? They’re dead, so I’m guessing “no metabolism.” I’ve never seen a walker, um, eliminate digestive byproducts, so I’d expect them to eventually swell up and burst from all the yummy, bloody goodness they’ve consumed. But enough about that, as I’m grossing myself out.

Back to those dog noses. The advantages of having these marvels of evolution working for you would be immeasurable. Dogs would quickly develop an aversion to the undead, especially if their people knew anything at all about training and reinforced appropriate responses. Imagine approaching a building full of food or supplies and knowing well before you enter whether there are “Dead Inside.” And, as previously mentioned, dogs would be valuable when it came to detecting and locating delicious, roastable wildlife.

dog attack walking deadI’ve been surprised by the lack of dogs in The Walking Dead, even on Hershel’s farm. It’s true the wrong dog might get you killed. But the right dog might be the thing that tips the survival scales in your favor.

What do you think? How else might dogs be beneficial (or detrimental) to a group of survivors? Larger dogs could be used to help carry things, like water. Could they be trained to attack walkers, taking out the legs and hindering their ability to reach you? Could they guard injured people or small children, giving an alert if walkers ventured into the vicinity? Would you take your dogs with you?

I certainly would.

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